Our beloved friend and Secretary of the HeadStrong Brain Injury Foundation, Blanca Bollom, passed away suddenly on February 19, 2019, due to a ruptured brain aneurysm -- which resulted in a traumatic brain injury. Blanca was such a bright light who left a lasting legacy on her family, friends and community. She was passionate about HeadStrong and our mission. Our hearts are simply broken, and we are more driven than ever to change the outcome of traumatic brain injuries. We love you, Blanca.
Below, I've shared my eulogy from Blanca's beautiful celebration of life. No words could ever begin to touch on what an impact Blanca had on so many, but this gives a glimpse into how much she blessed me personally and what a truly amazing woman she was.
- Lauren Bernard, Executive Director/President, HeadStrong Brain Injury Fdn
"I have so many so emotions as I stand before you today. There are four in particular that speak to my heart. First, I feel shock that we are all even gathered here together. Second, I feel so honored that I was asked to speak about someone that there could never be enough words to speak about. Third, I feel sadness in that I will truly miss my dear friend and my mentor. And fourth, I feel grateful that we serve a loving God who will reunite us all again in Heaven.
My name is Lauren Bernard, and I simply loved Blanca. To me and my sons — they are 2 and 3.5 — she was Banky. Four years ago, I stood before a congregation very similar to this one, and I spoke about my mom. She had been in a tragic car wreck on her way to work and was ultimately in a vegetative state for over four months before she passed. I’m an only child and was pregnant with her first grandchild at the time. She now has two beautiful grandsons she will never know this side of Heaven. Her name was Kathy, and Blanca was her dearest, most cherished friend. My mom and Blanca met 34 years ago when they were both new mothers and worked together. They remained constant, dear friends for the rest of my mom’s life. I have many fond memories of Blanca growing up, but most memorable was the best Galveston trip we took with her, my mom, Michael and James. The bridge leading into Galveston was a sight to see to our young eyes!
I always loved Blanca and appreciated our moms’ friendship, but I never appreciated Blanca more than after my mom’s accident and the years that followed. When I sat in the hospital and hospice with my mom, Blanca sat right there holding both of our hands. I remember my dad brought Pillow Talk, one of my favorite movies, up to hospice. Blanca and I watched it together and giggled – it was a welcomed relief. When my mom passed, Blanca was right there hugging my neck at her funeral. Blanca immediately stepped right in and mothered me and reassured me that I could do this motherhood thing — and that I could even do it well! — without my own mom. She encouraged me, she prayed for me, she lifted me up. She held my babies in the sweetest way that, second to my own mom, only a grandmother could do. Her smiling face would show up at my door with baked goods, canned goods – especially her salsa, and a comforting embrace. She knew that Zach, my husband, loved figs, and we never went without. My kiddos, Knox and Parker, quickly became accustomed to Banky’s famous blueberry muffins and anxiously awaited them every time we saw her. Blanca taught me that you drop one blueberry into the middle of each muffin cup – and it was truly heaven! She’d always bring over or send us home with two or so dozen, and I’m slightly embarrassed to say, they’d be gone within a day or two.
As children, Michael and James had the absolute best matchbox car collection and play mat that Blanca had saved. My boys became quickly enamored when they visited her and David’s home. I can still picture Blanca rolling up her sleeves, getting down on the floor, and playing cars with the boys to their hearts’ content. The Christmas before last, Blanca gave Knox and Parker a personalized matchbox car case and then gifted them with a wrapped car every time she saw them. They loved opening their cars – it was like Christmas year round. The boys call them “Banky’s cars,” and we will certainly continue the tradition.
Blanca made gifts to the boys’ college fund every holiday and birthday. She was truly thoughtful and generous to the core. She graciously included us in the Bollom Water Balloon Bonanza each summer, which entailed the most spectacular water balloon fight and more Chick-fil-A than one could even eat, and we instantly loved her amazing grandnieces and nephew. What a blessing to be included in her family tradition that she had so lovingly planned and orchestrated. I can still hear her laughter and telling the kids to hit each other with the water balloons. It was so much fun.
She also gifted us yearly with her family’s fabulous tamales. She would regale me with tales of making them with her loved ones while we ate salads at Saltgrass. Saltgrass was our favorite place to grab lunch together. We would also talk about Blanca’s beloved women’s group, what fun she had had with David at the latest U of H game, Wednesdays spent with her precious dad, and the status of her garden, her birds, and James’ puppy.
When I think of Blanca, what sticks out most in my mind is how she would hug my boys so tightly and tear up and say how much Grandma Kathy would love them. She would share stories with me about my mom as a mother and about me growing up, and I will forever cherish those special memories. I loved being able to ask Blanca how my mom had handled various situations and seek her guidance on current childrearing issues. I quickly understood that it’s not until you become a mother that you realize all the things your mom did for you and all the ways she loved you. And I cannot begin to express how much Blanca loved Michael and James and how proud she was of them. It was beyond apparent in every conversation that we had. When she spoke of them, her face simply lit up. When Blanca spoke about David, it was so obvious that she was married to her soul mate and one true love. Blanca loved her husband, her boys, her family and her friends so deeply and so well. She emulated what I strive to be as a wife, a mother, a woman and a friend. To Blanca’s loved ones, my heart hurts for your tremendous loss. Her legacy is not one easily matched. I know how much she touched my life and my boys’ lives, and that does not even begin to compare to the impact that she had on yours. Thank you for sharing a little bit of Banky with our family, and thank you to Blanca and David for welcoming us with open arms during the most difficult time in my life.
In June of 2018, in honor of the fourth year since my mom’s accident, we started the HeadStrong Brain Injury Foundation in support of traumatic brain injury research. I had long struggled to make purpose out of my mom’s, her friends’ and our family’s pain. We had finally found the outlet, hence our motto, “Let your pain become your inspiration.” I told Blanca about my idea for the foundation long before it actually came to life, and she championed me and told me I could do it when I didn’t have enough belief in myself. Blanca was the Secretary for our Foundation and took her position to heart. She would take handwritten notes at our meetings, type them up, and immediately email them to me early the next morning – totally unnecessary but appreciated. She was excited with ideas – and most of all encouragement – and was there every step of the way. We delivered HeadStrong Butterfly Blankets together at Memorial Herrmann’s neuro-trauma unit. She hugged my neck and cried with me in the lobby as we remembered everything we had been through there with my mom, and we cried some more with people in the hospital over their loved ones. But we left feeling fulfilled and even more motivated to make a difference. Our most recent event was this past Friday with Lilly Pulitzer, and I had been so excited to spend time with her there. Her absence was certainly felt.
For you, Banky, we will work even harder to accomplish the mission of the Foundation. For you and my mom and so many others who have suffered traumatic brain injuries, we will strive to make a difference in the TBI community and end these senseless tragedies. But most of all, we will pay forward the grace, kindness, compassion and love that you so openly shared with everyone you encountered.
In recent Christmas cards, Blanca thanked my boys for brightening her life and bringing her joy. Banky, that’s what you did for us. You touched our lives in ways I can never describe. You were truly an angel on Earth. Thank you for being there when you didn’t have to be. We love you, we miss you, and we are thankful for you. God is good all the time even when we don’t understand His plan. We look forward to the day when we will be reunited with you at the glorious Gates of Heaven. Rest in Peace my dear friend."
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